Mother Hen
by MarkedHawk
Summary: One ordinary guy, an idiot commander, a brainless prince and princess, and waves of heroes from a game he played like a filthy casual. Everyone seems to expect something of Kiran, but he wasn't the most emotionally stable person. That being said, he never expected to make friends with these freaks, let alone find a family to protect in them!
1. Night Stories

**Here, have some FE Heroes oneshots and watch as Kiran slowly goes completely insane dealing with video game characters and gacha mechanics!**

* * *

 **Night Stories**

* * *

Seventeen days. Seventeen whole days since Anna pulled him here to be the tactician of the Order of Heroes.

Sixteen nights of this bed, with the _one_ leaky drop on his forehead that hit him right before he fell asleep and kept him up constantly.

He wanted to blow up this entire damned castle. If Alfonse told him to summon one more time without letting him use the Orbs collected to fix up the place, he was going to shove the Orbs up his ass and rip them out like he was a Beyblade.

In just over two weeks, they'd cleared out the World of Mystery and the World of Conquest. It just said something about the Heroes that had joined his - _their_ group. His first Summon brought Robin of Awakening to their side, just another ordinary Four Star. This was followed by many more: Donnel, Fae, Henry, Fir, and then using the last of his Orbs, Nino. All had proclaimed him as their great and wonderful leader, expecting him to lead them all to victory against Veronica the Brat with some sort of legendary tactic befitting of the legend that Anna abused to bring him from his home on planet Earth.

The gun like object on his desk - Breidablik, if he could understand the Norse language and pronounce that crap correctly - was the only thing that made him special. A weapon for the Legendary Summoner.

Someone he wasn't.

He tried to manage such a thing. Be the hero that the Heroes needed. Every time he tried, however, he found himself lacking.

The next best thing was being professional about it then. He'd be distant so no one would expect too much of him, maybe give a couple of pointers on whatever the hell they needed, and be the guy everyone knew but wasn't close to.

And that gave him a lot of free time, day and, what time it was currently, night.

He'd polished Breidablik enough that he could probably use the reflection while he brushed his teeth. He'd dissolved the pages of two whole sketchbooks with images of awkward looking anime characters and weapon schematics. Literal _hours_ were spent trying to figure out how to make modern day weaponry for Askr to kick the asses of every Emblian troop they came across.

He wanted _grenades_. Guns. Hell, he had an idea for a mortar to shoot Breidablik's Orbs into the sky and just _rain down heroes_.

But then they'd ask about what in the world was going on, then he'd have to explain the Askr - Emblia war to crowds at a time when he could barely manage to do so for one person at a time.

And all of these things happened before his body would give him the release that was sleep. At least, up until no-

A knock at the door snapped him away from the realm of unconsciousness. The boy sighed and kicked away his ratty covers, wondering just who it was and what they needed. He threw the door open a bit too quickly, glaring into the depths of the hallway for whoever needed him.

He was greeted, as some part of him expected, by an empty hallway. Might as well hook a doorbell up to his room so people could accurately ding-dong-ditch him.

"K-Kiran?"

The voice came from below him?

He first saw the mane of green hair, the single unsightly sprig that tried to tickle his chin, yet was too low to reach. He followed its curl downward, passing the hairline and reaching the eyes, bright and blue. He recognized the innocent face - he'd summoned her a day prior. What he didn't recognize was the water pooling in those blue orbs.

Nino had tears in her bright, innocent eyes, and she was cradling a book like her life depended on it. The annoyance around Kiran's soul vanished, replaced with only patience as the little girl tried to get her mouth to match her voice and get out the words she wanted to say.

She reminded him so much of his little sister back home that this entire situation felt… _normal._

She shoved the book pinned in her arms into his gut, her face bright red and her eyes closed shut so hard that she couldn't see that he'd doubled over due to the hardcover weapon she'd been carrying.

"Will you teach me how to read?"

He resisted the urge to cough his organs out and looked at her. Nino of the Black Fang. Possibly the most innocent character in the games focused around Bern. Obviously because of that, her life was _torture_.

His heart, nihilistic and distant, went out to the girl, no matter how shriveled it was. Her parents killed by Nergal's forces, leaving her to be taken in by a bunch of corrupted idiots who couldn't tell that Sonia was a _Morph._ She was treated like shit and trained to kill people.

Sonia's training was beating and hurting the pale flower before him, her quote-unquote _family_ treated her nicely because they felt pity instead of stepping up and doing something to keep the child under their protection… well, protected. Gods, she didn't even know how to read!

But… she came to him? Lloyd was around somewhere south of the castle; he'd probably help if Kiran could compose a team to collect him.

But what if she didn't want Lloyd's help? He was still going to get the Fang, but he was talking the here and now.

He weighed his pros and cons. He knew that people who were apathetic in face of something that could change were assholes, but he'd sort of become one of those assholes with how he'd been acting the past few days. Did he want to deal with the greenie by himself, like she wanted him to, or was he supposed to ask for help and send her on her way.

Finally, could he even willingly refuse the puppy-dog eyes she was shooting him?

"Yeah, kiddo. Happily."

He caved, but something in him told the Summoner that it didn't seem to be a bad thing. Her smile was bright enough to shake the grogginess from his body, and she plopped herself down onto the bed. He sat down right next to her, interested in the book she wanted to learn about.

Whatever Anna's ritual had done to eject him into the world of Zenith had done its job well. He could understand the variety of languages that graced his eardrums with ease, despite knowing himself to be only fluent in English. He hadn't been able to differentiate a letter in one foreign alphabet from another's - yet his brain had become a codex of languages he shouldn't even have begun to comprehend.

Long story short, he could read nice and write good. Everything Nino currently needed to learn to read.

It was a book of fairy tales her hands were clamped down onto, whether she knew it or not, and he was surprised to find that they were the ones he'd been reading during his transition to diapers to shorts.

The brothers Grimm.

"Nino, I think you picked the best book to start with. Why don't we try out the tale of Cinderella? That was always one of my favorites!"

The way her face brightened to rival the sun was all the invitation he needed.

* * *

"T… tu? Tues? Is that right?"

"Close, actually. Give it a rounded center. It's like what you'd hear in the beginning of the word old."

"Old? Ol?"

"Just 'o'."

"O… tos? Toos… t-toes?"

At getting the word, Kiran pumped a fist and gave a cheer that infected her instantaneously. Her smile returned with a sugary vengeance, and the accompanying giggles could've been weaponized and peacefully ended the war against Emblia.

"So they cut off their toes?! Eeewwww! Shoes aren't that important!"

Oh if only the child knew. Girls would go _nuts_ for a pair of shoes.

"Trust me, there are some people in the world that would willingly do that for riches and glory."

He chuckled a bit more, but was hit with the memories of his old ex-girlfriend, and instantly stopped laughing. God, she was such a…

Why were tears going down Nino's cheeks?

"That… sounds like something my mommy would do."

Oh shit… what had he done…?

"Nino…"

The bitch wasn't her mother… but Nino still saw her as one. He felt obligated as the one who brought her to Zenith to explain that to her.

But where did he pull her from? One where Eliwood's group had already stormed the Black Fang's hideout, or one where she was still under the illusion of a family?

He couldn't. He _shouldn't._

But… he had to, didn't he? She trusted him enough to ask him to help her learn to read. She looked so much like his little sister.

Was he really going to add more lies to the girl whose life was comprised of them?

"Sonia wasn't your mother, Nino," he said, unwilling to let the world hurt her anymore than it already had. "She wasn't even _human_ , or even Manakete. That's the sad truth."

He watched the emotions flash through her face. Fear, anxiety, a tad of betrayal. Then came the sadness; the anger; and then the speechlessness.

"I… I j-just…"

He wanted to backpedal. He couldn't. But he could apologize.

He was right. He just needed to stay away from Heroes. He was going to make their lives even worse than they already were.

"Nino, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be hurt anymore, but I went too far, an-"

"I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED!"

The shout Nino let out made Kiran reel back, a habit from the past he thought he'd broken. Nino was trying desperately to keep from crying, he hands clenched on the book in her grasp so hard that her hands were turning stark white. What hurt most was the pain he saw in her eyes.

What was he supposed to do?! Kayla never broke down like this! God damn it, why did he always hurt people by accident?!

"When I wasn't good enough, she'd hit me… b-but I still wanted h-her affection. I...I-I tried to be _cheerful_ ," she stuttered out, voice breaking into a sob during the word. Kiran pulled the young teen into a hug, not minding the wetness that spread across the shoulder Nino had smothered herself in.

"Lloyd, Linus, and Uncle Legault… they treated me nice because they pitied me! I didn't know what to do! Do you know what it's like?! To be hurt by people you saw as your family?!"

Those bright blue eyes glared coldly into Kiran, his time for apologizing gone. The eyes that stabbed into him made him remember a time in the past that he'd thought he'd gotten over. When everything he tried was ignored for the achievements of someone better.

"I know far too much about how it feels."

Nino stopped glaring, having noticed the look on his face. The tears welled back up, and he pulled her back into another hug. She threw her arms around him and screamed into his shirt, her hands tight on his coat. He hugged her in return, a hand rubbing her mane of green hair as he patiently waited for the sobs wracking her body to subside. He honestly didn't care how long she cried into him, just busied himself with rubbing circles into her back.

It could've been minutes or hours that they spent hugging. He just took note of how she seemed to calm down and acted like she was his little sister. He planted a chaste kiss on her hair, giving a smile as he wiped the tears from the girl's face.

"I promise you, Nino, I'll always be there for you. You deserve a better hand than life dealt you, and I intend to exchange the cards when need be."

'To be what we both lost' was went unsaid.

"I swear on my life to make this place somewhere you aren't pitied."

This time, the gratitude Nino had went unsaid, she just flopped back onto the bed and looked at the ceiling with a whimsical look in her eyes. He laid down next to her and decided to humor Nino's awkward attempts to reach for his hand, letting her fingers weave into his. It reminded him of the good old days.

"Hey, Kiran?"

He let out a small hum, which she took as he intended and continued to ask her question.

"Can we do this again sometime," she mumbled quietly, a bit of red on her cheeks and innocence back into her eyes.

...what?

Did she mean the screaming and crying? No, he was just an idiot. Forget he ever said it!

"I doubt that even you'd be able to learn how to read in one day. We can practice whenever you want."

She grinned amazingly, mumbling, "Thank you… big… brother…"

All of the energy seemed to seep out of her and she immediately fell asleep, and Kiran just watched enviously. He didn't really care that she could sleep when he normally couldn't; Nino was cute even as she slept. Kiran grinned and pulled the cover onto the young mage until she looked nice and snug.

Big brother? Of all his titles and insulting nicknames from high school, that already ranked higher than his actual name. Even Kayla hadn't called him that, even in the privacy of their own home. He could certainly get used to it.

* * *

Alfonse barged into the Summoner's room, worried beyond belief. Nino had gone missing somewhere through the night, and no one had seen her yet. The innocent green made was just a kid!

"Kiran, have yo-"

The prince of Askr felt his soul exit his body one he realized Breidablik was pressed against his forehead, the hand holding it tense with a very tight finger on the trigger. Alfonse let out a noise similar to a squeak when he saw the pure, unadulterated bloodlust in Kiran's brown eyes, failed to have been masked by the extremely forced smile on his face.

"Wake her and I turn you into a bag of Hero Feathers."

Alfonse glanced to the lump in Kiran's bed, recognizing Nino's mane of green hair poking out from the white sheets. She was wrapped snugly beneath the swaths of covers, a content smile on her face.

"I… see you've found Nino…" Alfonse stuttered out, attempting to ignore the cold barrel of Breidablik pressing against his temple. Despite that, Kiran seemed to calm down, returning the gun to his hip and looking back to the girl with a warm smile on his face.

"We were going to start the day off with a Summoning session," Alfonse stated, remembering what had been decided before the chaos of losing the Pious Mage, "Anna requested your presence before we realized Nino was missing."

The prince of Askr whimpered as Kiran's head whipped back with an unholy vibe, his brown eyes cold and demonic.

" _Al… fonse… I'm going to tear you in TWO!_ "

"WAIT, WHAT DID I DO?! WAIT! KIRAN, NO! STOP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"


	2. Robin's Remorse

**Robin's Remorse**

* * *

"Shit! Shit! No! Damn it, come on!"

Kiran was hauling ass and screaming his lungs out, the sounds of the lance cavaliers tearing up the dirt to get to him making him feel like a mouse being followed by two giant, spear-wielding cats.

Damn Cecilia! Damn Clarine! Screw the entire world of Binding to hell and back!

Man, he'd watched Nino get stabbed to dust like it was some Infinity War bullshit! Sweet, innocent, Three Star Nino went poof! No one else was any help! Not Henry, who was busy screwing around with his crows and getting stabbed right in the face, not Fae, who was still rolling around in the grass looking for beetles, and Robin?!

"Kiran! I'm sorry!"

How in God's name did the tactician of Awakening get shoved in a corner by Clarine and Cecilia?! Why could tomes not attack the person right in front of you?! What is this video game bullshit?!

"If anything," he called out, Clarine having fun poking him with the butt of her staff, "you're doing really good by running! You can probably tire them out eventually!"

"You expect me to out-stamina two _horses?!_ "

Robin was quiet for a dull moment where Kiran barely managed to keep his ear when a lance came for it. Kiran hit the ground hard enough to send him rolling straight into the water around the small area where they were fighting, where he was given a face full of cold water for all of his troubles and disorientation slapped him harder than the fish that he spooked.

Kiran broke the surface for air, spitting out the frog that decided that his mouth looked like a nice home, and almost took a lance between the eyes for his trouble. It cut off a few hairs as he splashed away gracelessly, only taking a breath when he was finally safe from their range. The cavaliers looked disappointed that they didn't have the range to stab him, and he flipped both of them the bird.

"Oh, thank you video game bullshit!"

"I've got him," Cecilia muttered atop her horse, apparently finding that Robin had literally no chance in beating her and forgetting about his presence altogether.

To give him credit, Robin attacked the woman the instant she moved into range, but Fire Emblem said no and dealt her zero damage.

Cecilia strode forwards on her horse, a smug grin on her face. She took one look at Fae, who had finally found a beetle, and zapped her with the tome in her hand. The Manakete exploded, and Kiran's brain went into overdrive to try and figure out a way to not get torn to shreds by whatever tome she had. Robin had already proven that tome users could only attack someone two spaces away, and the area he was in had to be much bigger than two spaces. All he had to do was swim up an-

OW! DAMMIT! INVISIBLE WALL BULLSHIT!

He pounded against the invisible barrier in the pissiest mood he'd ever been in, swearing things that couldn't be said in a T-rated fanfiction. Cecilia was attempting to stifle her laughter as she advanced towards him, but Clarine was laughing her ass off.

"Don't worry Kiran," Robin shouted from the other side of the battlefield, "I have a plan!"

Kiran squeaked as bladed wind shot at him and he felt wounds form on his back. It hurt so damn much that Kiran almost stopped wading water, but the power of pure anger kept him afloat.

"Where was that plan when Fae popped like a balloon?!"

His demand seemed to spark Robin into movement. He sprinted towards Cecilia with a determined look on his face. His speed was intense enough that Clarine hadn't realized that he'd moved, the Troubadour blinking in surprise.

Kiran watched as Cecilia's face turned grim and she turned to strike him down. Her eyes widened in horror as Robin's arms shot up into a very familiar pose and he let out a roar that made all Robin mains sigh in relief.

"ARCFIRE!"

And nothing happened.

Since when did Robin believe that he had a red tome?! Was he really this dumb?!

"This isn't Smash, you fucAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The last thing Kiran saw before Cecilia shot him into the sky was Robin sweating uncontrollably with a meek look on his face and getting stabbed by the cavaliers.

Kiran hit a bird.

* * *

Robin, tactician of Ylisse, currently hated himself.

They'd been planning the attack for ages. What little Kiran could bring to the table with his Summoning wasn't quite used for combat. The black haired boy had been adamant that he could likely bring a powerful hero to their side if they just had the Orbs to do so, but it was shot down by Commander Anna.

Robin still shuddered at the possibility that _his_ Anna could end up like her. Seeing a no nonsense Anna was weird.

He'd tried to work out a group. Fir had wanted to join them in their fight, but the fact that the cavaliers could tear her apart with ease had made it an easy decision. That Raigh kid that sat in the library sometimes, gazing vividly at Nino from the windows, was no help either. He was too big for his britches to follow his or Kiran's command.

And honestly, he sometimes forgot that Matthew existed.

This was his fault. He couldn't be the honorable tactician he was supposed to be in a world unplagued by the Grimleal. Here, he felt entirely useless.

"Robin? Are you alright?"

The white haired tactician glanced up to see Kiran there, looking worriedly at him. Robin couldn't stand to look into the boy's eyes, especially after he'd failed so horrendously. This was the Phila situation all over again...

"I… I'll be fine."

A scoff from his companion made him wince.

"You literally made a chair of trash, and are currently sitting in it," he pointed out. Robin glanced to his pile of broken weapons and Sharena's old bedspring that made a great throne and sighed. Kiran must have heard, because he sat down and asked, "What's up with you, High Deliverer?"

Robin grumbled to himself, but needed to get something off of his chest to his fellow male.

"I… I was supposed to be a Five Star, no?"

Kiran blinked, and his eyes looked the slightest bit colder. The first thing Robin heard when he was Summoned was the person in front of him letting out a scream of joy that quickly became a choke. Robin had dwelled on that moment every night since he'd appeared, and every time he heard mention of a Five Star, he flinched guiltily.

"I feel like I'm wasting you a spot on the team," Robin muttered to his fellow cloaked figure. "I'm useless compared to the others of the group. It shows in battle."

He was a tactician. No matter what Chrom, Lissa, or anyone else said, he wasn't a fighter. Not in this world.

"What?"

Robin blinked up to Kiran's confused face. It felt like an insult to the tactician's tattered pride.

"I'm worthless in a fight. You saw that fiasco today."

Kiran blinked again, and some snark began to show on his face, along with the beginnings of a grin. The snow haired Plegian wished he could have the ability to smirk like that in this kind of situation.

Kiran spared him no time to pity, eyes holding an uncharacteristic warmth to them.

"You mean the fiasco where Henry couldn't pay attention long enough to kill his target? The one where Fae was more busy playing than attacking Lance Cavaliers? Where Nino almost took one of them down before Clarine came out of nowhere to heal? That one?"

"The one where I couldn't do anything to help… you got hurt because of me, Kiran, don't try to wave that off. I can see how stiff you're standing," he pointed out to the male, who grumbled under his breath at being found out.

"Okay, I'll admit that I'm pretty pissed that you cornered yourself and were a laughingstock, but you were also at odds with the Weapon Triangle."

Was he trying to make him feel worse?! Giving him an excuse didn't help!

"That doesn't change the fact that I failed you and Askr!"

"Dude, it was one bad fight. No one was prepared."

"That's supposed to be why I'm around. So we _can_ be prepared."

The tactician looked away miserably, taking note as Kiran groaned and left without a word. It was for the best. Askr needed heroes, not mages who couldn't remember what tomes they were carrying around.

He should ask to be sent home. At least then he'd be of _some_ use. He'd read from the books of a time long past that if Breidablik was to be used to send someone back to their world, the hero's essence would remain in the form of feathers used to help other heroes grow.

He would do it the first chance he could. Kiran would probably disagree with the decision, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made. Robin would have to be one of those.

Robin jumped when he heard what sounded like screaming. It was male, and demanding to get something that sounded almost like a name. The tactician strained his ears to listen harder and was met with the sound of someone new shouting as a window was smashed. Furthermore, from what he remembered from Vaike's mishaps around the Shepherd's Barracks, something sounded suspiciously like a door being torn from its hinges.

Kiran came back, obscured by a large sack of animal skin. His balance was off as he staggered back and forth, trying to adjust what he held to not drop it.

"Kiran?"

The white robed man dumped the large bag onto the Tactician's lap and aimed Breidablik at him. Robin briefly wondered if it was part of the ritual to send someone home and he just knew the Plegian was going to ask when the relic pointed at him discharged and the man's senses were filled with light.

Imagine his surprise when he remained seated on his trash throne, yet surrounded by smoke. The sack Kiran had left on him was gone. Robin felt weaker, but… different. As if he had more potential. Something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Summoner?" He asked,his tone laced with concern. The cloaked figure before him gave a playful tut and a wag of his finger, his brown eyes glittering.

"It's Kiran, mister Five Star. Go hit up the Training Tower if you're that desperate to be an asset to the team. I expect a lot out of you."

Eh?

Wait, did he really-?!

"You just _wasted_ twenty thousand feathers on me?!"

Where did he get the feathers?! How in the world had he managed to get so many in such a short time of being Askr's Summoner?! If he was right, he'd been here for three weeks, which wasn't nearly enough time to collect that many!

"It wasn't a waste, Robin. It was a problem that you had, one that I had the answer to."

Robin's retort died in his throat. Kiran looked actually mad, like someone he cared about was hurt. The Plegian forced that observation back before he said something that could lead to the end of their conversation. One he found himself thoroughly enjoying.

"You may not have been a Five Star Robin. That doesn't matter because you're _my_ Robin."

Robin balked. It felt for a split second that he was talking to Chrom, asking if he should really be fitting in with the Shepherds. He only realized it was Kiran because Chrom wouldn't ever poke him on the nose.

"Don't be too hard on yourself man. You're more important than you give yourself credit for."

Kiran smiled once more and walked off, spinning his weapon dangerously on his finger. Robin watched him go and pondered the conversation they just had.

He was… important?

Robin smiled. He liked that feeling.

* * *

"You wasted all of our feathers on that birdbrain?!"

Anna shook the Summoner with strength she didn't know she had and resisted the need to put her axe into his head forcefully.

"Yeah," Kiran stated, looked miffed and nauseous at the same time. Anna smacked him across the face with her satchel of cash and ignored his pained shout, grabbing the boy by the collar and slamming him against the wall.

"WHY?!"

The boy glared back at her with what felt like enough heat to cook an egg. She hadn't realized he'd turned the tables on her until she felt the stone of her wall come to meet her back instead of his. Kiran's hands were balling up her cloak and using it against her, and his eyes, normally playful and fun, were cold.

"Because we needed firepower and I like making people feel better about themselves!"

"What about me?! Do I count?!" She basically demanded. It was childish, but dammit, she needed this! Askr needed strength, and she was powerful!

Something changed in him. His eyes widened in surprise and he let go in an instant, seemingly shocked about what had happened. Anna growled and shoved him back, and the edge returned to his eyes, but duller this time. She didn't care; he was scrawny and she could easily take him.

Kiran seemed to know this as well, because he turned on his heel and stormed away from the Planning Hall with a purposeful strut, letting one last retort fly over his shoulder.

"You can count when you have some kind of value that isn't lording over someone about which Anna is best!"

The over the shoulder shout was bad enough, but to bring her rivalry with her sisters into it? That was going _too_ far!

"Damn it Kiran, I wanna be a Five Star too!"

"You can be a Five Star when I've gone mad enough to promote you into a Three Star!" He wailed in return from the hall. Anna ground her teeth together and punched a wall.

Dammit! If he wasn't the wielder of Breidablik, she'd pound his face in and sell the organs!

She just sighed and looked at the naked Feh, the bird looking terribly cold without its feathers. Despite the chill, the bird seemed happy about what had happened.

Great. Even the birds were taking his side...


	3. Stuck in a hole with World-Jumpers

**Stuck in a Hole with Laslow, Odin, and Selena**

* * *

Let him say this right now. He may have been a terrible tactician, but Kiran was proud of his accomplishment. The world of Binding was a weak bitch if you knew what you were doing. Watching Robin beat Emblia's Roy upside the head with his tome was one of the most satisfying things he'd ever seen in his life.

What was more satisfying was getting Orbs. Anna's weird little bird brought some by every now and then, but it wasn't enough if he was gifted one a day. It helped, he'd never be able to say it didn't, but it wasn't as fulfilling as getting them himself.

As the Heroes and Askrians all celebrated their accomplishment in weakening Emblia once again, Kiran strolled off to the Summoning Sigil with a bag of forty Orbs. He was a hoarder in that sense. Stay in Askr for three and a half weeks and suddenly you feel like the greatest person on the planet.

Summoning was enjoyable, and then Frederick appeared.

"Where am I," he demanded, eyeing up the Summoner. Kiran sweat in his robe and quickly noticed the man heft his massive hammer to his side and glare down on him.

"Where is Lord Chrom? Lady Lissa? Robin? Furthermore, where have you spirited me off to, Mage?"

He couldn't. He was too busy fanboying over the unit that almost singlehandedly carried him through Awakening's Proud Mode.

"Answer me or pick a God and pray."

He said the thing! Holy shit, he said the thing!

The hammer crashed into the ground before his feet, and Kiran came close to pissing himself. He rattled off the explanation he'd been attempting to simplify for everything that was going on, but it mostly became a bunch of awkward squeaks and voice cracks as he saw the man glare at him and wave his hammer about in a threateningly casual manner. Kiran instantly resorted to begging.

"I promise to summon Chrom, Frederick! L-Lissa too! Robin's around somewhere, go find him! Just… don't pound my skull into dust."

The man still looked about ready to pound him into the floor like a nail, but sighed and threw his weapon over his shoulder.

"You're far too skinny to fight in war. I'll have to correct that."

With the possibility of the Frederick's Fanatical Fitness Hour threatening him, Kiran sighed and let the man off to wander on his own accord. He wasn't out of shape… r-right? He was a runner, not a fighter.

He grabbed an Eliwood, Gaius, Niles, and surprisingly enough-

"I am Odin Dark. Mage of Nohr! Twilight traveler! Infinite enigma! (And, hey, all-around nice guy.)"

Odin. Or Owain. Whatever continuity he currently was. The half naked blond man proudly stood in all of his Four-Star glory, book in hand flipping through its pages by the power of magic.

The next five were mostly similar. Hinata, Sakura, and-

"I'm Laslow, a mercenary from the Kingdom of Nohr. Shall we grab a cup of tea? It's the perfect icebreaker!"

Then-

"I'm Selena, a mercenary who works for Nohr. Very talented. Ask anyone! They'll say I'm cute too. Bonus!"

Kiran snorted. Selena / Severa blushed and instantly started complaining, but Odin / Owain and Laslow / Inigo grabbed her before she could cause a scene and spirited her away. Kiran just rolled his eyes and predicted that they'd probably have a meeting about the new world and what it could mean to have Heroes from Awakening appear and recognize them.

Okay, one last green!

He clicked the trigger once again, smiling already from a successful pull.

That smile grew wider when a blast of air came off of the Summoning Sigil, and a blast of blue light filled his senses.

He saw rabbit ears and a tight corset, and his good day went even better.

"I'm Camilla, eldest princess of Nohr, come dressed for the spring fest. But it's rather tight, don't you think?"

Hot! She's homicidal and sort of crazy, but hot!

* * *

The world of Awakening got absolutely rocked, as Kiran had aptly stated.

It was a wave of chaos that they brought to Emblia's territory. Laslow looked to his comrades as he wiped the sweat from his face, their walk enjoyable as Kiran led the way back to the Askr portal. Selena and Odin both looked tired but proud of themselves for helping break off the control Veronica had over them.

Camilla, on the other hand, was the one figure he kept his eyes off of. He'd almost begged Kiran to get her a set of normal clothes so he didn't have to deal with ogling the princess donned in a rabbit outfit, but the Summoner would have needed to summon a normal version of Camilla.

Laslow didn't quite understand it. It looked like Kiran didn't either, because he spoke the words with such an unbelieving tone that he may as well have not said them at all.

Odin didn't seem to mind. Laslow thought he could've just never realized had he not seen Odin's blush when they were first decided for the fight.

Selena, on the other hand…

"He's a pervert! He's a giant pervert!"

She didn't take it very happily. At least she had the gall to keep her voice down lest Kiran hear, but her constant torture of the boy from behind was unsettling to witness. She could only jab him with her armorslayer so many times before he became worried for the Summoner's life, and stepping on his heels as he walked seemed childish but effective. He was even more worried considering they were walking past a very dangerous looking crevice in the stone that they walked across.

Then she upped the ante and pushed him. Her arms went forwards, slammed into Kiran's back, and he toppled.

"Oh SHIT!"

Kiran fell into the crevice, and Laslow just watched as he tumbled further down and almost out of sight. His crash into the bottom was loud and sounded extremely painful, and the Nohr Mercenary winced at the low groan the Summoner let out.

Selena was sweating, still in the pose she'd taken when she shoved him. Odin was on his hands and knees, screaming with laughter at the sight of their old friend so mortified over something dumb.

"Selena," Lady Camilla called out, and Laslow averted his eyes from her figure before his eyes inevitably strayed from the rabbit ears to something more scandalous, "did you just shove our adorable little Summoner into a hole?"

"I'm not adorable!" Kiran shouted back up. Laslow watched as Selena uncomfortably turned to where he believed Camilla was standing with faux-surprise written on her face.

"I… think so…?"

Lady Camilla was silent, then Laslow realized that she'd sauntered up beside him to look down the hole as well. He had a face-full of her costume and jammed his gloved fingers up his nose to keep the nosebleed back.

He had a wife, dammit! He shouldn't be looking, no matter how seductive the temptress was!

Maybe he could equal out her attractiveness with her homicidal tendencies… wait, shit! He'd married Peri!

"I'll see if my wyvern can get to him. Marzia," she called to her mount, knocking Laslow back from his stupor. The woman daintily pointed to the crevice with a smile on her face with one command: "fetch!"

Laslow was about to point out how terrible of an idea that sounded, but was drowned out by Marzia ramming its head into the gap and being met with a scream of a child in return. The man remembered seeing the wyvern snap at numerous enemies in his time serving the Kingdom of Nohr, and he had no doubt that the Earthling was screaming in absolute terror as the beast snapped and screeched at him.

Kiran's head wouldn't be taken off yet, because the area the robed boy had fallen through was just small enough to bar the creature entrance. Marzia couldn't reach her prey, so it fluttered back to the woman looking much like a kicked dog. Camilla soothed her mount with a hand petting its jaws.

"I'll return to Askr to get help," she stated after a moment of thought. "Would any of you like to join me?"

Laslow swore she was repressing a chuckle as he felt her gaze on him.

"We'll make sure he stays safe. See you soon, Lady Camilla."

Selena waved her liege off and watched as she mounted Marzia and flew off. Odin, on the other hand, was gazing suspiciously at Kiran, who was still raging.

"How did he manage that fall without getting hurt? It doesn't seem feasible."

"He said something earlier about how there wasn't fall damage. Maybe that's how?"

Laslow pondered the meaning of those words. Odin apparently did it faster.

"No time like the present, my comrades!"

Odin let out what was accurately described as a war cry and launched himself into the crevice, leaving a thunderstruck Laslow and Selena behind. The two more level-headed Mercenaries shared a sigh, then started to carefully lower themselves down. It was agonizingly slow, and Odin's boisterous laughing combined with the Summoner's indignant shouts certainly didn't help his concentration.

Finally, they'd made it to the drop that had taken Kiran and their own Mage. Selena jumped down without hesitation, no fear in her soul after fighting Risen and Faceless and Grima and Anankos. Laslow slid down after her, if only to complete the holy trilogy.

He landed on the Summoner. The string of apologies and the string of curses had interwoven into a chorus of white noise and the rare discernible word. They managed to disconnect, and to Laslow's own credit, Kiran only looked _slightly_ homicidal.

"Why did you guys jump in here after me?! You're putting yourselves at risk because I was stupid enough to fall in a goddamn hole!"

Laslow glanced to the Mage of their group when Kiran turned to groan at the opening of the crevice. Odin's gaze met his own, and they both glanced back to Severa, who who blushing and fiddling with her collar in an attempt to act nonchalant.

The three of them would keep quiet about how he _actually_ made it down here.

When the robed boy was done screaming at the heavens, he plopped down and ran a hand through his messy black hair, suddenly looking years older than he should've been. Laslow knew what stress could do to someone.

The Retainers had met the night before, pondering what to do with their new situation. If Kiran could Summon Heroes across time and space, there would inevitably be a hero that would recognize them from Ylisse and use their real names. There would be suspicion and concern when there shouldn't have been, and while it wouldn't necessarily be Kiran's fault, it would be his actions that cause the infighting. They decided as a group that they needed to explain to him their situation, as to avoid such problems before they would arise.

"Kiran… we've got something to tell you about us."

"I already know about you guys," he sighed. "What more is there to know?"

' _More than reasonable,_ ' the Mercenary mused to himself. "It's about our own lives."

Kiran only blinked and rose an eyebrow.

Odin didn't let him get a word in.

"We heroes chosen by fate have decided to tell you everything! Our fates, awakenings to this truth, our hard brought decision to include you in the knowledge that could save dimensions untouched by realities we know of! Our dread beasts burning within our very souls have pushed us forwards! Kiran," Odin roared, holding a hand out dramatically. Laslow sighed and Selena slapped a hand to her face, "join us in the truth! Heroic Summoner of the Kingdom we know only as Earth, allow us to show you _everything!_ Our battles! Our trials! Our worst nightmares turned to reality!"

"Someone shut Odin up before I _stab_ him," Selena roared, but she couldn't get the threat out fast enough before Odin let the story explode out.

Kiran looked understandably confused as Odin began to rattle off the contents of their journey, starting from remembering chewing of a toy sword and barely getting to the end of The Grace Period before an hour passed. Laslow attempted to get a word in here and there, but was promptly drowned out by Odin describing the taste of a Ylissean meat skewer.

Kiran, however, was not one to be drowned out.

"Owain, dude, Inigo's trying to talk. Severa's the personification of silent but deadly over there. Bug her."

Laslow nodded to the blonde man, even though he was met with a glare by Selena that spelled disaster for him later.

"So as I… was… saying…" Laslow trailed off, watching as Kiran's grin grew. The robed man just smiled at the son of Olivia as Laslow attempted to decipher what the hell had just happened.

The sound of Odin slipping on something and crashing into the ground went unspoken as Selena shuffled into his peripherals with amazement on her face and a hand tight on her sword.

"I'm sorry," his fellow time traveler and world jumper mumbled, "what did you just call us?"

The edge in her voice was muddied with the shock Laslow himself was feeling. The girl drew her sword and had it pointed right at Kiran's neck, likely one push away from putting him down. The dancer had his hand on his own blade, ready to aid his family without a moment's hesitation.

Kiran sighed, carefully clamped the sword's edge with two fingers, and threw it to the side as Selena stabbed. He flinched as the sword dug into stone and dirt, but sat still and looked at them with his disarming brown eyes.

It would've done better to stop them if his other hand wasn't holding Breidablik in a death grip.

"Severa, you know damn well what I called you."

Laslow brought his blade from his sheath, glaring down at the boy.

"So… you know about everything?"

"Everything?" he asked, shaking his head, "I don't even know what your last names are, let alone what timeline you guys are from."

"Plural?" Selena managed, still shaken by the fact that the idiot that had brought them to another world knew far too much about them to be normal.

The boy paused and sighed, and the three heroes shared looks of wariness and concern. If he knew of multiple timelines, than that could potentially be disastrous for their objective. All of their secrets and half-truths would be exposed instantly, and the bonds they'd formed with friends and family could potentially be shaken.

Laslow didn't want to know what his daughter may think if she learned he'd been lying to her all her life.

Then Kiran dropped a bomb that made him freeze.

"Do any of you have kids yet?"

Kids?! He knew about Soleil!

Laslow had to stop himself from stabbing Kiran then and there. If he knew about his daughter and wife and was planning something that might hurt them, he'd kill the man without hesitation.

"How do you know so much? Alright, what's my child's na-"

"Soleil. She's a girl. The hair color depends on who you boned, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she's a pinky."

He… how did he know that?! Soleil's hair color from birth was pink, but she just dyed it blue because it reminded her more of Peri. If the Summoner even knew that, then-

"What was our purpose in the Kingdom of Nohr?"

Odin of all people spoke up, a dark look on his face and his fingers brushing against his grimoire. Kiran's eyes flickered to the book, but he only rolled his eyes.

"To protect Corrin and or Kamui, then help stop Anankos."

There was one other person who knew that, and he was a damn dragon that had enslaved Valla. It gave them yet another problem.

"And are you…?"

Kiran's brown eyes focused more intensely than Laslow had thought possible. Kiran didn't just look mad, but pissed.

"No, I'm not with the dragon. Honestly, he's an ass and I'd have no qualms with anyone putting him into the floor after what he'd done to your World. His good half is probably insane already. Also, Iago can die like the scrawny prick he is."

Laslow choked on his spit, and Selena smacked him hard on the back, more or less punching him. The girl seemed exasperated as she punched him in the spine, but Laslow was more focused on the pain and saliva in his windpipe.

"I don't think you could have made your allegiances known any better," Odin stated, the boisterous tone back in his voice.

Kiran grinned.

"Well, if you know all about us, then we should know about you. It's only fair," Selena decided, tearing her weapon from the wall but keeping a tight hand on it. Laslow himself felt the same. If Kiran kept secrets from them, he'd never have their trust. Odin sat down beside him, and the three Nohrian Retainers faced the cloaked Earthling together.

Kiran blinked, took a moment to ponder, and grinned.

"Yeah, I guess that's fair. It's probably really damn weird for someone to know everything about you guys without having knowledge in return. What do you want to know?"

They asked questions about his world. Where he got all of his information from was something Odin desperately wanted to know. Laslow thought it might have been a protector of an Outrealm gate that had witnessed their lives.

He told them about Fire Emblem. Not the Ylissean treasure or Corrin's Yato, but about a game.

Details that had been lost to history books were given out like candies. Background information that the most privy of individuals had hard times acquiring were stated without hesitation.

Laslow didn't know how he should react. Odin was demanding to know all about a group called Nintendo and Selena wanted to know how the people - characters, he supposed - were created. Laslow just wanted the name of the sick bastard that wrote his mother as someone disposable when he needed her the most.

The deaths didn't matter. Their lives were dignified to health points, Classes, and Skills. His life was that of the fictitious character in a game that you could completely deny even existing if his mother didn't marry.

He thought Kiran as a God for one long moment. His sword was tight in his hand as he wondered if everything would be erased if Kiran just perished.

"I didn't know what to do in the beginning. A bunch of people I idolize yet know don't exist are suddenly thrust into my hands. How is one supposed to react to that?"

Laslow looked back up at the cloak of white and gold. He made himself pull his hand from his sword.

"I've had more than enough of watching people get hurt. I don't want it to keep happening, even if I have _no clue_ how to prevent it, but I try. I keep an eye on Nino to help her learn to read like a kid her age should. I'll be around to make sure Robin's emotions don't get the better of him without Chrom around. And…"

Laslow's jaw clamped in anticipation.

"Well, I guess I'll be around to keep the identities of you nerds safe."

Laslow blinked. All of the treacherous thoughts that had been plaguing his brain were killed by the sigh of relief that he let out.

Kiran would keep them safe. Laslow shouldn't suddenly trust his words, but there was so much acceptance and sympathy in the hooded boy's voice that he felt immediately at ease.

"I'm sure then that you can all tell that Kiran isn't exactly my real name either?"

Laslow and Selena both nodded, but when Odin heard that secret, he slipped and crashed into the ground so hard that it looked like he forgot how to breathe. The dancer of the group just watched as his old friend flailed in attempt to pull himself back together, and when he did, it was as shocked as possible.

"Kiran is just a moniker?! Impossible! Inconceivable! That just doesn't make sense, plain and simple!"

"The three of you had new names when you stepped into another world. So did I."

"Well spit it out," Selena demanded, "It's not kind to keep secrets from your friends!"

The robed boy laughed, but looked a little pale. Laslow understood why: to give out your true identity would be to trust those told with your closest secrets. If he was worried that it would place a burden on their shoulders, he was wrong. They knew how to keep secrets.

He explained as much. Kiran's smile lifted the atmosphere once more.

"Don't go spreading this around… but my real name…"

He wetted his lips, preparing himself. The Retainers patiently waited for his answer.

"My real name is-"

* * *

Sharena looked down into the hole that Camilla had claimed Kiran had fallen into. She didn't see Laslow, Odin, or Selena anywhere nearby, and that worried her. Her friends were precious, and if they got hurt, she'd feel terrible for not being there.

She saw the white coat of the Summoner, moving around as the Earthling swayed. It looked like he was pacing, like Alfonse would when he had a particularly bad argument with their father.

"Kiran!" she shouted into the crevice. The coat stopped moving and the sight of the Summoner's face, untouched by blood or dirt, and she let out a sigh of relief. The boy waved, and three heads peeked from previously out of view to see her.

"Are you guys alright? I brought rope to get you back up!"

"We're fine! Give us a minute! Odin's doing a charade!"

Sharena blinked. The four went back to what was previously happening, and Odin pinched his fingers close together and brought it to his waistline. Selena immediately gave a shout in return.

"Oh! It's Laslow!"

"What?! Why is it me?!"

"It's because his little penis!"

"ODIN!"

A chorus of laughter followed the Mercenary's indignant shout, and Sharena suddenly felt like she was missing out on something. She turned to look at her fellow princess, and Camilla grinned and nodded. Without hesitation, Sharena threw herself into the hole as well. She landed right on top of Kiran.

"WHY?!"

* * *

"How did all of you manage this?"

Alfonse had watched as Heroes had all left the castle to go help get Kiran out of a hole - _of all things?_ Camilla had arrived in her scandalous outfit, a large and mischievous grin on her face, and spirited people away to assist.

When she came to get him, he hadn't known how to react.

Now he was just tired. He was in the middle of building his bench and had to be interrupted by this.

Literally every hero under Kiran's command was in a hole, crammed together in a tight space and laughing up a storm.

"Marzia," came Kiran's shout from the pit of writhing and giggling people, "fetch!"

The wyvern beside him perked up, and Alfonse didn't even have the chance to uncross his arms before he was plucked from where he stood and launched into the hole.


	4. Raigh's 'Date'

**Raigh's 'Date'**

* * *

Raigh took a deep breath and tried his best to compose himself. This wasn't anything too embarrassing. All he wanted to do was see if she wanted to go on a walk, o-or maybe have a conversation over tea. This wasn't even as bad as some of his experiences with his own Dark Magic.

So why couldn't he bring himself to knock on the damned door?! Sharena had told him all he needed to do was have faith!

Hand! Move, you insolent cur! It was just a door, and inside was just a girl that was beautiful and amazing in every way and made him feel like he was floating when she smiled at him! He could handle this!

Nino was full of bright smiles and cheery atmospheres. Every time she was around, or even when she wasn't, Raigh found himself drawn to her presence. So yes, he wanted to experience that sensation more! As Kiran had said during the excursion to the World of Mystery, " _Bite me._ "

His clenched hand shook like he had a thunder spell caught in his fist, and the green haired boy bit down on his pride and rapped his knuckles against the wooden door, almost screaming when the door whipped open to reveal the very person he wanted to see.

Nino.

"Hey Raigh! What's up?"

Her dialect was different than usual? She'd spent too much time with Kiran; that was something the cloaked man would say. No matter. He could work around this!

"I… uh… was… wondering."

His mouth wasn't working.

"Cool!" The girl responded happily, and thankfulness flushed through Raigh's body. He just needed to not mess this up like he did cooking, and he'd be free like an untamed horse. Then, it would be up to her to decide his future.

"I was wondering if… uh… how do I say this…" he trailed off, his conviction withering and dying like Zephiel had.

"Say what?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to ask someone if they wanted to head out to the market," he said, then realizing his mistake and babbling quietly to himself, hoping the ground would eat him alive. Nino either didn't notice or didn't care, and that just made his impression of her skyrocket.

"Hm… that is a good question. How _do_ you ask someone that?"

That's what _he_ neededto know. He told her as such.

"Okay, how about… you… ask? That would probably work," she said, grinning. Would it? He'd never thought of that as a possibility. Truthfully, he had no clue how to bridge the topic with her. His plan had only gone until he started talking to her.

"Would you like to go to the market with me?"

Nino nodded.

"Yeah, just like that! Wow, you handled that really well!"

"I.. Uh… thank you?"

"No problem! Now you go out there and you say that sentence, nice and good!"

Raigh jumped at the excitement in her voice, stammering over his words as her _pure joy_ coated him.

"Y-Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"YEAH!"

" _YEAH!_ "

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE MARKET WITH ME?!"

Realization dawned in her eyes, and her face gained a light red glow to it.

"Oh. Okay!"

"It was that easy?!" Raigh shouted, completely dumbfounded. Nino didn't dignify such with an answer, she just grabbed his hand and smiled.

"Alright! It's a date then!"

A D-DATE?!

He glanced to the corner, where Sharena was giving him thumbs up, smiling proudly to him.

* * *

She pulled him to the Askr market, holding his _hand the entire way!_

No! No, calm down! Don't think too much about how nice her hand felt, all smooth and dainty in his own. Think about what you wanted to do with her! Okay, markets, what did they have? Food. Girls liked food. He watched Fae eat an entire cow once.

"Let's get biscuits," Nino glowed, and his heart squeezed at the bright smile on her face. He paid for two biscuits and was entrapped watching Nino snack on it, taking a chance to wipe a few crumbs off of her cheek in the midst of it.

"A fountain! Make a wish," she grinned, flicking a copper coin into the fountain. She turned on her heel with a bright smile, ignorant to him pouring as much money as he could into the small body of water, wishing that the date would go perfectly.

"Ohmygosh, Raigh, a _petting zoo!_ " She yanked him over with unprecedented strength and he was petting a loud and annoying goat before he knew what was happening.

"You bleat, I delete," he told the animal as he watched Nino absolutely adore a happy, tiny Pegasus. The goat just bleated in his face in response.

Raigh and Nino left the petting zoo while the animal's caretakers wondered how to get the goat out of a very large and gnarled tree. The process of Nino dragging him about lasted for hours, yet he could say with full confidence that he enjoyed every last minute of it. They found themselves sitting at the fountain he dumped all of his money into, Nino's hand in his. Raigh sat beside her, watching her smile and her bright eyes with a pink blush adorning his cheeks. He just couldn't get over how familiar this sensation was.

"Raigh, _look_ ," she whispered, pointing to a child playing around the fountain and his mother's kind presence just meters away. He was hit with a sense of deja vu so intense that he wondered for a split second if he was dreaming, but Nino's fingers intertwined with his own grounded him to reality, and the two of them watched the mother beckon her child over with a warm smile that made his heart melt.

"Come now, honey. We have to be home to greet your father, don't we?"

"Okay mommy!"

Raigh watched the child run to his mother's side, wondering if _he'd_ ever been like that, and watched them walk away holding hands. Nino instantly brightened, the most precious smile in the world spreading across her face.

"She's like, the perfect mother," Nino gushed, looking at them with a sense of melancholy in her gaze. The family moved slowly away, but her eyes remained on the tall woman; her glowing smile. "Was your mom like that, Raigh?"

"I… have no memories of my mother," he mumbled, looking to the ground. He and Lugh had long forgotten what she and their father looked like, the memories of growing up in the orphanage replacing those precious thoughts. Lugh remembered how she thought and acted better, but without the knowledge of a face to pin that to, they had to imagine it themselves. Somewhere along that line, Raigh came up with a happy, preppy woman that had no problem making friends or asking for help, even if it demeaned her. In that same image, he imagined her reading to him, teaching him about magic, and holding him in a hug, too desperate to let go.

Nino looked at him, and Raigh looked back, a tingle in his brain when he compared that image of his mother to Nino. He found the two so _similar_...

"Kiran said he'd be like a big brother for me because mine weren't around, so I'll do the same for you," she said, hands wrapping around his own as a huge smile bloomed across her face, "so I'll do the same! Raigh, _I'll_ be your mom!"

He could've _cried._ Nino seemed to notice, because her bright and happy expression feel and she looked at him with eyes _so_ similar to Lugh's.

"Is… that okay…?"

Was it…? Raigh didn't know; would his mother approve of Nino being his surrogate mother? She likely would, with them looking so alike, as Lugh had claimed. Both had green hair, both were users of the mystical arts, both were… perfect. Nino was perfect.

"Y-yes. Yes! I- YES!"

Nino grinned even wider, and in a show of what Raigh could call motherly affection, placed a warm kiss right onto his cheek. His face lit up at the act as a horrible plan came to mind. Maybe… he could get her to see him as more than just a son-slash-friend figure. They'd be spending a lot of time together after all, and the books at the orphanage said that prolonged presence in the other's surrounding built trust and the key workings of a relationship.

He'd have to ask Lugh when Kiran eventually summoned him what mother would say regarding Nino.

* * *

Kiran wondered whether or not he had the ability to open Outrealm portals with Breidablik and jump back home to get supplies that Askr was desperately needing when a green haired Dark Mage kicked open his door with no hesitation, leaving a thick, black boot mark on the oak wood, and marched right up to him with a giant smile on his face.

"Kiran," Raigh said, throwing his arms around his white cloaked elder in an uncharacteristic show of passion, "thank you! You've given me what I've always wanted!"

" _What in the hell,_ " the cloaked boy thought as the Dark Mage disconnected himself and sped back through the doorway, and his suspicion got the better of him. Kiran dumped the volatile gun relic of summoning doom, as Odin had called it, onto his nightstand and yeeted - _yote_ \- himself right after the Mage. His boots echoed after the sound of Raigh's footsteps, walking after him like some depressing Scooby-Doo villain would stalk the characters with a bedsheet over their head.

First thing the made him worry: Raigh led him straight through a fairly populated area of heroes. Kiran had gotten a bunch of Orbs for Japan's Golden Week celebration, Feh vomiting them into his hands because he could no longer hide them in his feathers, not that Robin really minded. He'd gotten some normal units, like Donnel and that Klein nerd, then some rarer ones, like Chrom, so Frederick wouldn't slaughter him. Raigh had always made it known that he'd avoid as many heroes as possible, mainly to maintain his persona of a standoffish brat, and now he was walking past them.

Second thing: his head of green hair rubber-banded Kiran to see the Mage talking to Nino - his _mother._

Okay… not good. What would happen if they realized they were related? He knew that when he summoned Olivia, Laslow had made every effort possible to not be nearby, mainly because the dancer was a momma's boy and would spill hundreds of secrets if she asked. If Raigh told Nino that she dies in canon, how would that make her react?

He needed and expert on the situation. Said expert was in the middle of an exchange between Nohrians, sipping tea with a loli.

"Laslow, come with me. I need a reason to be suspiciously looking at two children without getting arrested," he said, grabbing the duelist by the collar and dragging him away from his little tea party, Elise just smiling and waving him away. The dark grey haired man sputtered a bit when Kiran shoved him down to a secluded corner so they could see the two Pious Mages, looking at them with cold eyes.

"Kiran," he sighed, knowing of the strange sibling bond the Earthling had with the… Berning…? "I know I'm a flirt, but I think I draw the line at… what age might they be, six?"

"They're eleven… I think… I have no clue, they're just young. Too young to talk to one another. Ever."

Laslow just rolled his eyes, and Kiran disregarded it, swearing to each Fire Emblem gods and Shouzou Kaga that the fact that they were blushing wasn't because of a strange, blossoming relationship that was progressing wildly off track. No, _no no no._ It was fine. It was _fine,_ not weird at all. Just… f-family bonding. Nothing weird going on here! Nope. No damn Oedipus Complexes in _his_ castle courtyard.

Kiran's eyes widened with horror at the sight of the two children blushing brighter than hell and embracing. He collapsed to his knees and wondered if killing himself was going to be socially acceptable as well after this.

"Aren't they nice together?"

Laslow sat patiently beside him, looking to the mages with a smile on his face. The poor idiot didn't know. Kiran couldn't blame him for not knowing. Despite introducing him, Odin, and Selena to reality and the truth behind the Fire Emblem worlds, he didn't know _everything._ If Kiran was going to be forced to explain the family trees in regards to something like Thracia 776, the Summoner was going to sprint straight into an Iron Maiden. The trap, not the band.

"No. Not at all," Kiran ground out through his clenched teeth, wondering how to apply weed killer to the blossoming, accidentally incestual, romance before him.

"What's wrong?"

The man's expression said plainly enough that he thought Kiran rude and spiteful over the romance. Kiran couldn't care less.

"Okay, Las, think of it like this. Imagine for one stark moment that Nino is your mother, Olivia."

"Okay…?"

"Now imagine Raigh as yourself."

For one second, the man's face beheld no emotion. Then realization set in, and his eyes became horrified plates.

"You mean…?!"

"Yeah. Yeah. That's- they're- _noooooooooooooooooooo._ "

"What do we do?"

Cry? Murder someone? Boot Raigh into the sky because he'd never think of doing the same to Nino?

"I know who's probably the catalyst for this… let's kill Sharena."

Laslow blinked. A thousand yard stare set in on the dark grey haired mercenary, probing the options in his mind. The expression returned with a sharpness fit for someone ready to take another life.

"Deal."


	5. Not a Dog in the Rain

**Not a Dog in the Rain**

* * *

Kiran woke up in the morning, wiping the sleep from his eyes, and found the slightly less naked Feh seemingly attacking an angrily writhing package. He'd never seen something alive and undoubtedly human in his mail before, and the fact that the package was adorned with pineapple wrapping paper, he wondered how someone managed to mail Takumi to him, then who in their right mind put Takumi in the mail system to begin with, and then how many of the mailman's bones Takumi broke.

He let Alfonse take care of it. He needed to look up Takumi jokes.

* * *

" _They sent a prickly archer in the mail_ ," was Alfonse's first thought, nursing a bruised chin after Takumi from the World of Birthright had cracked his fist straight into Alfonse's neck. The archer apologized profusely when he realized he was dealing with another royal, although he promised hell on someone named IS for jamming him into the mail.

Alfonse didn't know an IS. Alfonse didn't _want_ to know an IS, because that would mean this IS knew about _him._ It could do something to him and his bench, and he would _not_ allow that.

He gave Takumi the usual tour: rooms, facilities, and the Summoning Sigil, where Kiran was screaming at the heavens as usual.

"Is he the one who mailed me?"

Alfonse denied, thankfully without having to lie, and watched as the Summoner pulled another Orb from his pouch and dejectedly loaded it into Breidablik. Once he'd been summoning after fixing the castle, pulling no Five Star units, Kiran had gone kind of nuts attempting to claim one. At first, it was kind of depressing, because he'd pulled a Bartre and immediately was given the title of 'Noodle Summoner,' but as the hours passed and Kiran became more and more broke, Alfonse just wanted him to stop before the Earthling threw himself off of the castle spire.

"PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST GIVE ME A _FIVE STAR!_ I'LL TAKE LUKE! JUST ONE!"

He shot a red crystal, and Alfonse crosses his own fingers to make the hell stop.

"I am Marth, Prince of Altea. It is good to make your acquaintance. Like you, I desire peace above al-"

"YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

The Lord was cut off as Kiran glomped him, crushing the bluenette in a hug so tight that it made Alfonse hurt just witnessing it.

"He's worse than Oboro," Takumi muttered, and Alfonse made himself a promise to never let Kiran know about this possible blackmail material. He didn't need the two of them, if Oboro was eccentric as Takumi seemed to believe, to get any ideas.

"Prince Alfonse!"

The prince turned to see one of his father's personal messengers approaching, and a pit dropped in his stomach. If his father needed something specifically from him, either that meant there was a problem at home or in the kingdom.

"There's a mysterious blonde archer to the south of the castle leading a small militia of Emblian forces. They've looted a few towns and have taken no prisoners. Many have requested the help of the Order to do something about it," the messenger reported, looking fairly ill, as if he'd ran all the way from the capital to the Order's castle.

"Thank you," Alfonse responded, "please, use a spare room to rest from your travels."

The messenger nodded, and a smooth voice cut in, the regal image of Prince Marth of Altea strode up, Kiran giddily bouncing beside him.

"I may have an idea who is the cause of this."

The fact that the energy seemed to drain out of Kiran made Alfonse pause. That was _never_ a good sign, as numerous heroes had seen it fit to report. It meant either something depressing and angst was going to occur, or as Azama had come to believe, he'd located someone for a… harem, was it?

"Oh… you mean Clarisse?"

Marth's expression was all it took to get mobilized. It was time to be depressed.

* * *

Clarisse held her hands up, attempting to catch her breath. The arrows that were pointed at her head didn't move, but Kiran rested a hand on, as she had called him, the Altean goodie-two-shoes' shoulder and had him stand down. The sword, the Falchion, that rested on her neck was removed, and she glared at the blue haired Lord.

She wanted Marth dead, but knew if she tried anything, her life would end. Good, because he really didn't need to deal with a surprise attack. It'd be perfect, especially considering they'd be covered by the pouring rain around them that had made fighting Clarisse's troops a real bastard.

"Give up," Frederick demanded, axe over his shoulder. "We didn't come here to kill you."

"Like I'd join you and the bitch of Altea in any scenario."

Kiran rolled his eyes, sending a glance to Marth who seemed completely unsurprised by the situation. Kiran cleared his throat, getting the assassin's attention, and jabbed his gloved thumb at Takumi, who still looked ready to annihilate her.

"Either you join us or I let Funshine Bear over here shoot you."

The pineapple-esque archer just sighed at the his words, but it wasn't Kiran's fault he had the voice of Michael Sinterniklaas.

"I will put you to sleep with an arrow if you think I'd willingly ally myself with you."

Kiran scoffed, hoping that she wouldn't call his bluff, when something else happened altogether that had him watch as fate threw his plan to sway her out the window and hit it with a truck.

An arrow sank into the tree beside Frederick, the man's horse panicking and stamping around wildly even through the man's attempts to calm it. Emblian troops didn't just fill the distance; they _became_ the sight that was the distance.

Kiran proposed a… tactical retreat.

"Scatter!"

In an instant, the five Order members split in different directions to throw off the approaching army, Kiran stopping to grab Clarisse, despite her weak protests and thrown slurs.

"Put me down, damned cur! I can fight easily on my own!"

Oh he _wished._ She was heavy as hell, not that he'd ever say that in a radius of one hundred miles near a woman. No, he wasn't going to let her run on her own when full of wounds that were making her bleed to death. Her pride could die in a fire if it meant he didn't need to kill anyone.

"Shut up. Do you _want_ to bleed to death? Again?"

He could hear her teeth clack together as her jaw clenched, knowing that he was right despite what she wanted.

"Why the hell would you care about me," she growled angrily. Kiran resisted the urge to bite a hole through his lip as he supported the assassin.

"Because despite your preconceived notion of me, I don't like letting people die alone in the rain when I have the ability to help them. Nor do I like ordering someone's death. You're alive because I told Marth to hold back when he got close enough, and he was more than happy to oblige."

"I don't want his _fucking kindness!_ "

"Well you're getting it," he shouted back, "and you're going to like it, because I'm not going to live in this world as a murderer, and you're not going to die as Eremiya's bitch! Get off your high horse and act like an adult!"

…

Aw shit, he did it again.

"Hey… I… I'm sorry. It's just really stressful out here."

Her arms tightened around his head, and it took all of Kiran's willpower to convince himself that she wasn't trying to cut off his airflow or just pop his head straight from his shoulders.

"Clarisse? ...can you at least say something…?"

He glanced up to see if she was alright, and her eyes flicked angrily down for a second before they were obscured by the branch Kiran had accidentally walked her into. The assassin crumbled off of his back, knocked completely unconscious, her head getting submerged in the holds of a wet bush.

"Damn it!"

She was going to _kill him!_

He fumbled to grab her, pulling her up in a bridal carry, managing to ignore the copious amount of mud that had splattered into her hair. Kiran's boots crushed the wet grass and mud that made up the ground, holding the cramp on his side in a death grip and making sure that Clarisse's unconscious form wasn't slipping from his hold.

He didn't have time to stop and call out for Marth or Takumi or Odin or Frederick, not with the Emblian troops still somewhere in the area. Certainly not with how bad the rain was pouring. It'd be his fault if Clarisse got hypothermia in this situation. He really didn't need the girl's threats to put him to sleep with an arrow to become reality.

So he walked. He walked and dragged and carried and slogged - just slap on some more verbs, they'll probably fit. Like they would in the cave that Kiran definitely almost didn't slide into as he tried to scale a wall of rock.

"Oh, thank God!" He shouted when his head didn't crack in two after he _certainly didn't_ eat shit. The cave was thankfully dry, just slightly secluded from wandering eyes. Had he been four years younger, he'd have deemed it his secret hideout and have never left, but now wasn't the same as back then. He managed to set Clarisse down without causing her any more accidental harm, right beside a small gouge in the ground that looked absolutely perfect for a fire.

He tore strips from his coat - it was just an article of clothing. It wasn't anywhere near as important as a life, or Clarisse in general. He wound them across her wounds as tight as he could, cringing at the blood that pooled across her clothes and the bandages. Her shivers made him worry even more.

"Firewood… I need firewood."

He hustled back to the mouth of the cave, looking through the downpour, concealed in the shadows if anything tried to look back. The forest was completely clogged with rain, and his hopes of finding viable fuel for a flame crumbled.

His hands picked at the loose scraps of his coat, glancing down to the article of clothing. The outside may have been soaked, but it was _insulated_ , so the inside was bone dry. He tossed it down in his makeshift fire pit without hesitation, patting down his pockets for his lighter. He didn't smoke, but carried it around because he enjoyed having the ability to make something light on fire when he was bored and watch how people would react. He wouldn't be able to anymore, because he lit a small corner of what used to be he hood up first, broke the lighter open, and dumped all of the lighter fluid onto the coat, however meager it may have been. The fire he'd started was weak because the lacking fuel, but he had the unconscious assassin as close to the flame as he could.

The dull awareness that Emblian troops might still be around came to mind. With a hope that Clarisse would be safe and that the fire was deep enough into the cave to not draw attention, Kiran grabbed the waterlogged bow and bundle of arrows on the archer's hip. The boy trekked to near the mouth of the cave, where the grey sky could barely be seen from behind the wall of water that flowed past the mouth of the stone.

He'd wait. He was going to protect Clarisse and get her out of this hell.

She was _not_ going to die like a dog in the rain.

* * *

Clarisse woke up _aching._

For a horrid second, she thought she'd been in that damn snowstorm again, the Altean army ripping her platoon of bandits to shreds with ease. She could've been convinced that the pain was from her inflicted wounds had realization not dawned upon her that snow wasn't brown, nor did it exude warmth. She managed to pull herself up to sit through the pain, taking in the warmth of a now raging fire beside her.

White scraps of clothing were wound about the pained parts of her body. She was surprised from how expertly they were applied, but also how she hadn't died from blood loss. The bandages were tight, but… she recognized the material. The whites and golds were the same as the ones she'd been carried by earlier.

Although… she couldn't remember how she got here. All she remembered was the Summoner, as he'd declared when he'd challenged her, being infuriating, and then something brown…

It was just a haze, but she could remember Kiran carrying her despite everything. It was her desire to know why he'd care so much that got her back to her feet, however shakily it might've been. She hobbled to the mouth of the cave she realized she was in, hand against the wall to support herself, and was surprised to see Kiran standing in the still pouring rain, surrounded, but not by enemies.

Bodies littered the ground, all clad in Emblian garb and armor. Clarisse would've gagged if she were a lesser person. It was, however, unnerving to see Kiran's very shocked face, looking at her bow in his hands as if he were more confused about the corpses than she was. She was more astounded by how the awkward looking Summoner, too meek to be associated with an assassin's lifestyle, was capable of ending a life with such ease, let alone about seven of them.

"You slaughtered them with only a bow…?"

He didn't even have a speck of blood on him. He just stood there, looking at her with paleness to his already fair skin.

"I… uh… I…"

"Don't say anything," she commanded, pulling her bow and quiver away from him and looking them up and down for damage, utterly surprised to find nothing adorning the surface of either. She counted the arrows, always forced to remember how many she had on her when combat struck, and her eyes snapped open in surprise when _all of them were there._

She looked back around. Doubtlessly, the bodies were full of arrow holes, yet she had all of her arrows. None of the Emblians were archers, so he couldn't have stolen some. Somehow, he'd managed to kill every last assailant without breaking a single arrow.

She looked him up and down again. Noodle arms, spindly legs, a quiet and protected body stature, and he was slightly duck footed, feet going out more to the diagonal than they did the front.

This person before her was a trained killer. She should've seen the signs from the very beginning. He commanded heroes such as pretty boy prince Marth and the pineapple archer without hesitation for their more obvious strength. Claiming himself as Askr's tactician and his ability to command painted him as a masterful intellect with wisdom to spare.

She pulled her quiver onto her back and took at knee, bowing to him.

"As much as it pains me to say it, I know a better assassin when I see one. Consider my allegiance attained. You will teach me how you managed this in return."

He just nodded shakily.

She smiled in return.

* * *

Kiran bit his lip and watched from the mouth of the cave as Emblian troops all began to zero in on their hiding spot. He shakily pulled an arrow back, aiming for the Troubadour's head. He completely missed. The arrow shot off to the side and alerted all of the enemies to his location.

"Can you please not? CAN YOU NOT?!"

The first person to make it close was a Swordmaster. Said Swordmaster was the first to die when the arrow Kiran fired came _back._ It bounced off of a rock and came right after Kiran, only to shoot through the flesh of the man's neck. The Earthling gaped as the red armored man crumpled at his feet and the arrow continued to whiz past. All conflict or chance of conflict halted as everyone listened to the sound of the arrow ricocheting off numerous different surfaces within the maw of the cave.

"How strong are you, kid?" an armored lancer asked before the arrow came after him too, shooting through one of his mask's eye holes before pinging after every other soldier like a heat seeking missile. One by one, the arrow chased them like he was a whistling Yondu, but he could only watch in terror. No way in hell was this normal.

The arrow didn't even _sink_ into the last one. It cracked against the Axe Fighter's Achilles tendon, leading them to slip and crack their head into a rock, and the arrow spun harmlessly _straight into Kiran's hand._ He looked at it for a solid minute.

"How in the _fu-_ "

"You slaughtered them with only a bow…?"

He looked up to see Clarisse looking astoundedly at the corpses _everywhere_. He wasn't even going to try and understand how in the hell he'd managed this one.


	6. Outrealms

**Outrealms**

* * *

It started in the Order's library. Robin had found a book about Breidablik while exchanging tactics with Corrin and Kamui, female and male respectively, and instantly handed it to Kiran without a second of hesitation, demanding that he keep it _far, far away_ from him. Kiran had only blinked in response and dodged the thrown book.

Reading it, on the other hand, made him interested. His past suspicions were right in believing that the relic could open Outrealm portals, and the plan to charge against the World of Mystery yet again was removed from his agenda for the day.

Stumbling into an alternate, burning Askr _wasn't_ on the agenda.

"What the hell happened?!"

Why were there dead bodies everywhere?! Why was Askr burning?! WHAT GOD THOUGHT THE BEST DIMENSION TO JUMP INTO WOULD BE THE ONE TAKEN BY THE APOCALYPSE?!

What was he supposed to do? Get a bucket?! Open a portal at the bottom of the ocean and hope the water pressure wouldn't kill whoever the hell was left?!

"Would you quiet down," a voice said, and Kiran whipped around to see… himself? Like, complete mirror version of himself, yet he looked totally exhausted.

"You're _me!_ "

"It's an Outrealm," Apocalypse!Kiran tiredly stated, "of course I'm you. What, are you the version of me that didn't play Awakening?"

Oh that was _blasphemous._ What kind of person didn't play Awakening?!

"I didn't think using Breidablik would lead me to an AU! And of course I played Awakening!"

Apocalypse!Kiran only nodded in response, and then asked a question that hade him shudder.

"Have Raigh and Nino S-Supported yet?"

Ugh. Why make him think about that again? He didn't know how to break the news of their identities without feeling like the personification of Satan, but he'd been able to curb a lot of it with tenacity. They tried to cuddle in the mess hall, and strangely enough, Raigh got a huge stomach-ache and had to sprint away. Kiran and Lissa just _happened_ to bump fists at the same time.

It also probably helped that she recognized Laslow as Inigo with ease and would not abandon the revelation no matter what, so she could easily understand the whole 'Kids that were just born have time traveled in the future to return to the present to help out' thing.

"What? No! What the hell, why do you think I'd let that happen?"

"Because I did. You're me, remember?"

Kiran opened his mouth to retort, contemplated how that fact was _technically true_ , and grit his teeth when a small smirk spread on A!Kiran's face, and in all of the time Kiran had spent living, he knew he was going to meme, and put a stop to it.

"If you say 'I am the Shadow, the True Self,' I will let you burn."

Apocalypse!Kiran sighed miserably, his chance to meme gone, and looked over the chaos that was Askr, beckoning Main!Kiran over like he was Mufasa and was about to tell Kiran that everything the fire touched was theirs.

He almost did, he could tell by the smirk. The gravity of the situation stopped him from making the reference, instead pointing at the burning Castle of the Order.

"We let this happen," he stated instead. "You have the chance to stop it. I… I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I had to preserve Nino's innocence, me! And it caused… _this._ Incest caused the end of the world."

Lord, if everything around wasn't on fire, he'd be roaring up a storm. Instead, Kiran just looked with uncertainty at Breidablik, the gun in his hand quiet and unassuming. Apocalypse!Kiran placed a hand onto Kiran's shoulder, desperation in his eyes, and Kiran wondered if he'd ever looked so ragged in his life.

"Please make it so this doesn't happen."

"Y-Yeah."

Apocalypse!Kiran nodded, gesturing Kiran back to his portal and forcing him to wonder how to keep his Askr from becoming like that. The portal closed behind him, and Kiran stood in his room, everything how he left it and realized: oh god, he couldn't make Nino _cry._

"Maybe I'll let Lugh explain it. I mean, Raigh is already available for summon. The second greenie can't be _too_ far off."

And then he wasn't able to summon Lugh until the 3.3.0 update.

* * *

Kiran looked at himself.

No, scratch that.

Kiran looked at _her_ , who was him, but female, so while he technically _did_ look at himself, he also looked at… herself? It was him but a girl. Longer black hair, a more feminine figure, and she was a bit shorter, but… Fem!Kiran.

"You're thinking too hard about this," she grinned, and Kiran groaned. He took the chance to look around the Outrealm, and instead of seeing a bunch of Fire Emblem characters with switched genders, he was met with everything completely normal. No Chroms with boobs or male Nowi, - was that the plural for Nowi? - and it made him take a refreshing and calming breath to get things situated. He looked to Fem!Kiran and quickly realized that he _probably_ shouldn't call her that, because if she was just him but female, she wouldn't take kindly to being called a faker.

"So…" he started, looking back to Fem!Kiran, who looked like she already knew what he was going to say, probably considering they were the same person, "do I call you Kiran as well, or…"

"Kayla," she responded, "it's my actual name. I'd assume your real name is the same as my little brother's?"

Kiran nodded, and Kayla just smiled.

"Then I'll call you K, just like I do to him. Isn't it nice having a nickname from your sister?"

He seethed, and she laughed. Kayla - _his Kayla_ \- would do the same, never calling him his actual name and slapping a number of absurd nicknames onto him, and it irked him because none of them were normal, and they usually just became insults.

"Call me room temperature coca-cola or the plain yogurt of people and there will be hell to pay."

She smirked, but dramatically brought a hand to her chest and slapped an offended expression onto her face, declaring "Oh, I would never!" He rolled his eyes because knew her, even if she was him but female, and knew she'd be calling him such in minutes. After all, she was him.

He was saved from the insult that was about to hit by her Alfonse walking into the conversation, looking up, and his eyes widening in terror as he looked at Kiran and then Kayla, focus flickering onto both of them again and again.

"Alphy! Look! It's male me!"

Ew. Her pet names were nasty. He could only imagine the hell that would break out if he called Al "Alphy." Thankfully, Alphy seemed to pale and start sprinting in the opposite direction. Kayla turned back to Kiran with a small smirk.

"Sorry about him. My boyfriend has never really been the best with fourth wall breaking stuff."

...boyfriend…?

"You're _dating ALFONSE?!_ "

Kayla glared at him.

"Yes, I'm dating Alfonse. Is that a problem, male me?"

Is that a problem? She was him… but female… and also possibly his little sister but their ages switched for this Outrealm, so he really didn't know. No, Alfonse wasn't a problem. He was pretty handsome, Kiran could accept that. He wasn't gonna start throwing his bro under the bus, but it was the implication of a female version of himself dating Al that made him panic.

"N-no, choose whoever the hell you please, I'm just wondering if that means I'll…" he trailed off, gesturing to Alfonse and himself. Kayla's anger vanished, and she also looked between him and the prince, a hand over her mouth. That was the distinct 'Kiran's brain is processing' face, and he suddenly realized that they'd both put on the expression simultaneously.

Did… this mean he had the hots for Alfonse? God, he couldn't bring himself to think of that as a possibility. Al was Al, as in his brother figure. He didn't want to imagine anything further than such.

Kayla turned to him, an expression on her face that was Anna's hated 'Kiran bullshit' face, and he suddenly realized why she hated it. He was a _terrible_ liar.

"You think I understand all of the intricacies of Outrealms? All I know is that you're me, but male."

"I know when you're bullshitting your way out of answering me."

She sucked a tooth at him, and he offendedly scoffed.

The sudden opportunity popped into his head. He had a familiar figure that knew how he thought and worked because she did the same, and she was also a Summoner for Askr.

They could team up if something bad happened. They could work together, and he fully intended to help if she needed it.

"Hey, Kayla, I might drop in from time to time to get advice, so don't be surprised if I suddenly appear asking for…" he trailed off, blurting the first thing that came to mind, "I dunno, dating tips or something."

She looked at him with that iconic 'Wait, what are you talking about, we've been over this' face and hated himself for being able to identify such an expression.

"Dating tips? We've already been in one relationship, and I got over it pretty quick."

Oh, _great._ Good for her. Meanwhile, here he was jumping at every shadow because he'd get the vibe that the good old Ex needed to have another 'word' with him.

"Looks like I found what separates us," he said, wondering just what had happened to actually make her get over _her._

Or… him, here. God that was really weird to say.

* * *

Kiran was living the _life!_

Okay, so, yeah! Summoned into a world of total hot video game babes, of course he would prosper, especially since not a single soul around here was male! He got jiggy whenever he wanted, realized all kinds of things that got him excited, and may or may not have gotten himself a harem.

And so, when another source of testosterone stepped out of a glowing blue portal to what looked like another Askr, he knew he needed to defend what he'd _earned._

"What in the hell is up with this place? Is this one of those hella shittily written AU's about getting a harem?"

"You'd be correct."

M!Kiran looked to H!Kiran and sighed.

"You sick son of a bitch," Main!Kiran grumbled to him. Harem!Kiran grit his teeth at the remark.

"What?! Come on, this is literally utopia for every straight guy! What're you, gay?"

M!Kiran just looked at him and sighed, rubbing his eyes with the expression of someone who'd dealt with way too much at once.

" _Dude_ , you are the most feminine version of me I've met in my life, and I just talked to Female!Kiran. No, I prefer the opposite sex, and yet I have a single shred of dignity in my body left, something you've managed to give up."

Shred of-?! Rude asshole!

"Give up?! I'm the king of this place! I am the personification of dignity here!"

M!Kiran's glare was cold,

"Also seems like the king of this place should go to hell for tapping the jailbait," M!Kiran snapped back, gesturing to Nowi, who waved with a huge smile on her face. It was hard to ignore the large stomach of her pregnancy with her wearing an outfit that covered basically nothing.

It had been a strange night.

"She doesn't count. She's legal!"

"And she acts like a child," M!Kiran retorted quickly, "and holy shit, you tapped Nowi?! Who else did you sink your weird, gangly claws into?"

H!Kiran grinned and proudly stated "Everyone."

M!Kiran choked and glared with all the force of an exploding star at him, and H!Kiran realized he _probably_ should've kept that piece of information hidden. Better a lolicon than a man whore.

"EVERYONE," M!Kiran demanded, "ARE YOU _FUCKING KIDDING ME?!_ YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DID IT WITH _NINO?!_ "

H!Kiran whimpered under the murderous glare his counterpart was giving him. The look of unrestrained disgust on his face was almost a palpable object, and H!Kiran had no doubt in his mind that if such became the case, he'd be beaten into the ground by whatever it would be that spawned.

"You're a perverted shithead whose balls dropped and decided he was the best. Just stay _far_ away from me, and we'll be good."

"Maybe I'll conquer your Askr too! Probably not too hard, considering how much of a dick you ar-" H!Kiran choked on his next word, M!Kiran's Breidablik cracking him across the face and knocking him straight to the floor. Breidablik, the weapon he'd become so used to holding himself, was now pointed at H!Kiran, and there was a cold, heartlessness behind his counterpart's eyes.

"If I see even a hint of you in my Askr, your little brothel here won't be able to do shit to save your life," he stated with finality, walking back through the portal with one last stern glare. H!Kiran just held his jaw and glared after him. He was found by Lissa and healed, but he was forced to explain what had happened to everyone.

Only a few words had to be uttered before he felt even worse than before.

"Ooh, I like a man who takes control," Camilla stated, and just like that, H!Kiran's dreams gained one tiny, little crack. His harem was moving on to… _HIM?!_

* * *

"Okay," M!Kiran mumbled to himself, looking through the portal, "nothing's on fire. Good. I'm not seeing the signs of a harem, so check that one off. No genderbends. Alright, I'm clear to explore."

Kiran stepped through the portal, it closing behind him, and his eyes zeroed in on his fellow Kiran. Main!Kiran strode forwards, ready to give a hearty, world traveling greeting to his fellow Summoner, when something made him stop. It was a tick in the back of his brain that was screaming at him to _kill_. His hand was already on Breidablik's grip when his presence was noticed by his fellow Summoner, who rushed up to meet him with awe in his… heterochromatic eyes. His hair… _f-fur_ was pure black, mostly covered by his cloak.

"Are you… _me?_ "

M!Kiran looked at his Outrealm counterpart in horror.

Outrealm Kiran was a _furry._

* * *

Alfonse had just wanted to _relax_. Walking into the bath to see a lone Kiran, drenched in gore, wasn't a part of his schedule.

"Kiran, why are you soaked in blood and fur?"

The Summoner just _looked_ at him.

"...was nothing too important. Don't worry about it."

Alfonse didn't know what to say to that, so he merely shrugged and went on to get his bath, spending a nice and relaxing time in the hot water before stepping out to see Kiran still standing there.

"Kiran?"

Kiran looked at him with large doe eyes and whimpered.

"I committed a furry genocide."

And that was that.


	7. Askr's Rock

**Askr's Rock**

* * *

"Alfonse?"

Alfonse managed to quiet himself when Sharena's voice poured through the door he sat against, hoping that she would just leave him be. Her opinions of Father were better; her optimism because she was treated better.

His own experience wasn't the same. Father was hard on him. He kept expecting better than Alfonse could do, and was disappointed when the prince couldn't deliver. Alfonse couldn't even remember a time he'd been told he was loved, no matter how many times Mother said he loved Alfonse with all of his heart.

The note in his hand told him that wasn't true. He wasn't commemorated for his efforts, nor the sudden pattern of success that the Order or Heroes was achieving in the war against Embla. His Father just said he wanted more results.

Damn him. Damn him _and_ his results. They were trying. Kiran couldn't Summon an entire army in a day, nor could the Order win the war in a week.

Yet Father didn't _care._ And that hurt _so much._

A sound got his attention. A figure leapt from a connecting balcony to his own, and if it were an assassin, Alfonse probably couldn't manage to stop them. The window opened, and in stepped the one person he hoped wouldn't find him like this.

Kiran looked at Alfonse with those hard brown eyes, ones that Alfonse had seen so many sides of. The jokes and sarcastic humor were nowhere to be found in those brown orbs. For a moment, he saw Father's eyes in the boy ripped from his own life for them, but that belief was squashed when he saw something Father had never given him.

Sympathy.

Kiran sat down beside him, not a single word uttered, threw an arm over Alfonse's shoulders, and let Alfonse break down.

"I'm so-sorry…"

"Don't be."

"I dragged you into our war."

"Seriously don't care about that."

"N… now I can't even be someone to rely on. I'm _weak._ "

Kiran looked at him, a patient look on his face as a brown glove came up to wipe Alfonse's tears.

"No one is perfect, Alfonse. We all have chinks in our armor that we don't want others to see. Sometimes our emotions seep out and we say things we don't really mean. Kind of like your old man."

Alfonse choked. Kiran knew. Kiran _always_ seemed to know what was wrong.

"He loves you, no doubt about it. He's probably just hard on you because he wants to see you be better than he ever could've been."

Alfonse understood that. It just never seemed to come to mind when it was supposed to, and judging by how Kiran's embrace became tighter, the Summoner understood it as well.

"Just cry it out, man. You're my other half, remember? I'll be here to dry your tears and to make fun of your runny nose when you're done."

So Alfonse did. He screamed and cried, whimpered and beat his hands into Kiran's chest, and his other half took it without the slightest complaint. He just sat beside, a supportive smile and a warm embrace to make all of the dark thoughts blow away like leaves in the wind.

Like that stupid branch he clung to, remembering holding his father's hand and clearing away a path of imaginary monsters.

Days later, Kiran learned of the story from Sharena. The tree that was planted beside Alfonse's window was of the same wood, one small branch, one that could easily fit into the hand of a child, missing from its limbs. Alfonse smiled and found himself right at the side of Kiran's antics later, happily partaking in his other half's agenda.

* * *

Anna had secluded herself, leaving everyone under the impression that she was Commandering something so they'd leave her alone.

Instead, she was looking over the letter from her numerous sisters with tears running down her face. The wads of paper and ink around her were because she couldn't bring herself to look over their happy, successful lives anymore. Not when she was stuck barely holding herself together.

"Damn it," Anna muttered to herself, tears falling down without any sign of stopping. She look at all those happy memories, shoved into her face by her sisters who didn't understand just how much she wanted to be like them. Anna's were all mirrors of one another, yet were so inherently different that they could be told apart just by how they worked. At least, all of them but her.

It came with having dozens of sisters; their parents were bound to get them mixed up every once in a while. Yet, it always seemed to be her.

She wasn't crying because of the letters. She was crying because they were all for each other, not a one of them for Askr's resident Commander. No one had bothered to check in on her. Not mom or dad. Not her twin, or her twin, or her twin, or…

Or her _twin_ , as in born together twin. And that hurt the most.

"Hey, Anna," came Kiran's voice as he stepped into the room, "how much are you going to let me get away with if Las, Hector and I fooled with sulfu-" he stopped, registering her red, tears eyes and she just wished he'd _leave._ He didn't.

"...what happened?"

She clenched her fists and resisted the urge to punch a hole in the table. Then sit down and cry. Then hit Kiran. Then cry again.

"Get out of here, Kiran. Don't make me yell at you."

His hand crashed into the table, and Anna jumped, eyes shooting up to see him looking at her with stern eyes. His face softened, and he sat down on the command table, brown eyes centered on her and her alone.

"I'm not leaving until those tears streaming down your face are gone and you're berating me for using all of the Orbs on a whim," he said in the same voice that would constantly get on her nerves, yet now just felt like a refreshing drink of water. One she couldn't willingly swallow.

"Why do you care so much? You and I aren't really what people think of when they imagine friends."

Kiran looked at her and his gaze dropped as he threw himself onto one of the seats, pulling his hood off to glare at the ceiling.

His words weren't the comforting sort. Not even close.

"I shouldn't care. You and I don't work well together, and we're at each other's throats on a constant basis. I can count the amount of conversations we've willingly initiated with each other on one hand."

Anna bit her lip. It was her fault. She'd been relatively rude to Kiran when she realized their personalities didn't mesh well, always forgetting it wasn't his choice to be dragged into their lives.

Kiran poked her in the cheek, and he met her with a warm smile.

"Yet I don't care. I see someone that's hurting, someone good that doesn't deserve to cry in a closed room until they pull themselves together to create this great façade of a Commander of Askr. I see a girl with a lot of sisters and even more problems that she thinks she can handle all on her own."

Anna choked on her tears. She looked to Kiran hesitantly, and he had a face that just _screamed_ that he understood. The grin came back, but it was warm. Sympathetic, but no pity. He just seemed to know she didn't need to be pitied.

"Why _wouldn't_ I care?"

She didn't know what to say to that, yet it seemed like she didn't have to. Kiran prattled on about different topics, playing with her command table and making a general nuisance of himself, as he usually did. The thing that kept her from keeping him far, far away from any of her things was the fact that it _worked._ Two hours was what it took, and those dark thoughts were dispelled by her white robed, idiotic Summoner.

He didn't ask about what made her so sad. He seemed to know his boundaries, and didn't try and push for an answer. She didn't know whether that was on purpose or accident, but it helped _so_ much.

She was a little easier on him when he, Laslow, and Hector accidentally blew up an entire room. He bore the punishment with a smile.

* * *

It was her job to protect Kiran in battle.

Sharena had taken it gladly. There'd been a close call where an Emblian assassin had almost killed him, and Linde had barely managed to blast the enemy to smithereens before Kiran's blood soaked the grass. It was then everyone decided that Kiran needed a guardian in battle; someone to save him while Kiran focused on saving everyone in battle. Sharena took it, not only to protect her friend, but to make up for dragging him into their war.

She watched in awe as Kiran controlled the battlefield. He muttered to himself something about a "Weapon Triangle" constantly, but was a strange kind of serious as he requested units to move. Sometimes she wouldn't understand: why would you put Selena in the range of that Armored Axe but Caeda just out of range for the Mage?

She didn't understand and didn't try to. Tacticians were weird.

"Where's the Sword Infantry?"

Kiran's confused voice poked through her mulling, and she glanced up to see him looking at Feh. Feh was perched on the Summoner's weapon, Breidablik, a look in its eyes that seemed to bring him concern. She moved forwards and Kiran caught to movement, quickly explaining.

"Robin reported in with Feh. The guy he was going after suddenly vanished and he has no clue where he went."

She didn't know tactics, but she knew what it meant when an enemy suddenly vanished. She bit her lip and looked at Kiran to gauge his reaction, and he seemed to be just as uncertain as she about the situation.

"We should move then. This is a problem."

Kiran's eyes hardened with responsibility. He looked back to Feh, the owl strangely still, as if waiting for orders.

"Tell them to converge past that mountain range. And Feh, get them to pay attention to any sign of an assassin chilling anywhere."

The owl nodded and took off into the air, and Kiran holstered Breidablik at his hip, nodding his head in the direction of the mountain range. The two walked quietly together, weapons stowed to hasten their speed, yet still were prepared in case something happened.

At least, until the missing enemy loudly burst through the foliage behind them, Sharena having no time to react and unfurl Fensalir. The blade tore down far too fast for her to escape.

"Sharena!"

Kiran tackled her out of the way, and she could only register the splash of blood that erupted from her friend's back for a second before the ground sprawled her across the grass. Her brain was just barely able to comprehend what had happened when Fensalir was wrenched from her weak grasp by a grimacing Kiran, who whirled around and tried to smash the spear into the chest of the Emblian. It was deflected by the man's shield, and Sharena scampered to return to her feet to protect Kiran.

Sharena screamed for Kiran as he was blindsided by the flat of the blade, knocking him right off of his feet. The Askrian Princess rushed at the man, hoping that even without her spear she could neutralize the threat. She realized far too late that he was already swinging at her.

It was caught, or rather prevented from slaying her, by a thick brown glove, blood pouring out of the gash. Kiran didn't even seem to react to the blade lodged in his hand, instead taking the opening before the man could guard to ram Fensalir through the man's chest, puncturing through his chestplate, and judging by the location, straight through his heart.

The man looked in horror at the spear protruding from his chest, and Kiran rammed it further through his chest with a snarl until it protruded out of the back, then ripped it back out with a flourish, panting.

Kiran was pale, shaking and sullen-eyed. He still turned to see her, looking her up and down to ensure she was alright, when Sharena only thought that he needed someone to look him over instead. She stiffened when he grabbed her in a hug, trying to ignore the blood pooling across his back.

Kiran still smiled.

"I've got you," he said. Sharena promised on everything she held dear, she'd never let something like that happen again, to protect her dumb, stupid, brother figure.

"I've got _you,_ " she mumbled right back.

* * *

Kiran woke up sobbing.

He'd been plagued by nightmares ever since he'd killed the Emblian Swordmaster. Blood soaked his hands every night in his dreams, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore them, he'd wake up crying his heart out. It was normal by now, yet his hands still shook thinking about the life seeping out of the man, the look of horror and realization that dawned on his face when death took him.

He took deep breaths to still his tears and choked sobs, trying to stem the downpour with his hands and failing miserably. He just wanted something to go right for once. So he could forget the painful memories under hundreds of happy ones.

Yet this was reality, or whatever strange fictitious version of it Askr resided in. That wasn't how things worked. Sharena was alive, _thank God_ , and if he had to do it again, he'd deal with the nightmares and lost sleep billions of times over to make sure she and _anyone_ in Askr was okay. It didn't mean it wasn't hell to deal with.

He just barely managed to wonder how loud his crying was when the door opened, and a familiar figure stepped in, armor replaced for pajamas, the normally stoic expression warped to one of concern.

"A-Al…?"

Alfonse just smiled sympathetically. He sat down beside Kiran, hand on the Earthling's shoulder.

"Don't worry," he said softly, "we'll chase the nightmares away."

Kiran swallowed through a tongue of cotton.

"We'll?"

Alfonse nodded to the door, and Kiran followed the motion with tired eyes. Sharena and Anna were standing in the doorway, a tear-filled look on the Princess's face and a patient smile on the Commander's. Alfonse shared the smile with them as well, and the three ended up sat right beside Kiran.

"It's only right that we return your assistance," Anna said with a smile. He wrapped her in a hug, and she hugged him back, rubbing his hair as he sobbed into her shoulder, the image of that long, terrifying experience washed away by the comforting hold of the people who he trusted, and trusted him in return.

The four slept well that night.

* * *

Chrom found them all tucked away in Kiran's room. When the Exalt had found them, he could only seem to see the four as some of the Future Children, huddled together through the night and waking up in the presence of others who understood.

He looked out the window, the immense storm outside so thick that he could barely see the dueling fields, and smiled. He would let them sleep for a while longer.


	8. Fomorstbusters

**Fomorstbusters**

* * *

Kiran looked at the twins of Renais, both Five Stars and Summoned right after the other, and noticed that something seemed to be missing.

It didn't take long to figure it out. From their forlorn looks to one another and the guilty expressions they had while alone, even the dullest of Heroes could've figured out what the issue was. Honestly, he'd checked too. Popped Sharena down right in front of them and told her if she guessed their issues he'd reward her. Analyzed it in five seconds and then demanded he go scrapbooking with her. Introducing that goblin to pictures was a horrible idea and the gloves he wore now served a purpose: hiding the paper scraps she'd glued onto his skin.

The crux of the issue was simple. They were missing Lyon: the prince of Grado and Fomortiis' bitch.

By all means, he was ready to find him, but the prince didn't appear in any of his current summoning pools, and Kiran had no clue where else to find him. In the fairly likely chance he'd end up encountering the purple haired priss in combat, he had no doubts he'd be under the Demon King's control.

His current army of accidentally incestuous mages, world jumping morons, Alfonse: Lord of Benches, and like, seven five stars were nowhere _near_ tough enough to kill a Demon King. They'd probably say they were ready, yet the ass kicking they'd gotten from Ryoma in the World of Birthright would like to disagree. How was he supposed to know the first person in his squad would be dragged to a two-by-three room with the lightsaber lobster?! Chrom had jokingly worn Easter garb and had _jokingly_ gotten his teeth kicked down his throat!

He'd looked long and hard at the mostly depressing roster, thankful that it was sorted by game and downtrodden at the fact there were rows and rows of missing units. He could only gleam so much from the silhouettes, but the one he focused on was either Lyon or a large and unneededly spiky pine cone atop a frying pan.

Prince of Grado, everybody!

"Kiran?"

He turned his eyes from his phone, doubling as his list of things he needed to fix - **NINO AND RAIGH NEED JESUS** at the top, **STOP CORRIN FROM BEING A DUMBASS** next to it- and was face to face with the bright blue eyes of one pouting Eirika.

"I was… wondering… if I could look over your roster?"

"I haven't pulled Lyon, Eirika," he said callously, wincing at her downtrodden expression and wondering what he should do.

"Ah… I see. I'm sorry for bothe-"

"Give me reasons."

The princess halted, looking at him with a hopeful gaze.

"Reasons why I should try to find him. Reasons why you think he won't attack people here."

"It isn't his choice to fight as he has," she explained as she lunged for her chance, or at least tried to. He knew all about how he _acted_ possessed in Ephraim's route, but being telepathically manipulated into being an ass counted in his book. "My brother has told me. The influence of the Demon King has blighted our friend, but we've been learning. Robin told us about how he once fought off Grima's influence long enough to save Chrom. Marth of Tiki being controlled, yet broken free. We hope that we can save him like others have with their allies."

He assumed they left out the time travel and _actual killable Mage_ aspects of their explanations.

"And if that doesn't work?" he asked. Mostly because he knew it wouldn't. Anyone with two brain cells and the slightest understanding of Fire Emblem possession would understand.

"Then… my brother says he can knock some sense into him, and Tharja supplied her interest in learning how to expel a demon from a human host. Something about Robin and his pants too…"

Ah.

Looks like Tharja needs a restraining order then.

"I can't risk lives like that. I'm sorry. Until you find a _concrete_ way to prove to me that Lyon can be freed without putting everyone at potential risk, I'm going to consider this topic closed."

The princess frowned sadly, and he had the sudden impression that he'd just punted a puppy into the sun. The tears that built on the corners of her eyes felt like a punch to the nuts.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time then," she muttered in a clipped tone, leaving. Kiran sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

She was going to go behind his back, wasn't she?

* * *

"Kiran," Alfonse's voice called through the door early the next morning. Kiran grit his teeth, having failed to sleep due to the thoughts stewing in his head.

"I swear to god Al, if those idiots went to find Lyon, I'm crippling them and beating them with common sense."

"Then you need to find a way to weaponize common sense."

"GOD _DAMN_ IT!"

* * *

 _There!_

Those asshats that scared him half to death stood at the edge of a large mass of ruins, black miasma coating the structure. Eirika and Ephraim looked about ready to head in alone, sharing a quiet conversation with one another.

"Dumbasses!"

At least, until he roared the swear at the top of his lungs. They looked like children with their hands in cookie jars as he marched up and immediately whacked Ephraim upside the head. He was _smarter_ than Eirika!

"Stupid idiots! I was so worried! What the hell?! Ask for help next time! Well?!"

"Were any of those even questions," Ephraim asked, instantly getting whacked yet again. Eirika blinked with her wide doe eyes and he turned his gaze to her.

"Giving me reasons doesn't translate into 'Bring him back myself,' Eirika."

The princess smiled guiltily. Kiran whacked Ephraim again, just for fun.

"Stop hitting me."

"Shut up," he grunted to the Lord, "I suppose you're not going to accept me bringing back reinforcements if it keeps you from Lyon?"

They looked to one another, looked to him, looked to the ruins, looked back to him, looked to each other, gazed past him where Askr's castle stood in the far distance, back to the ruins, back to him, and smiled.

So no.

"Great. Welp. Let's kick the shit out of Fomortiis."

The twins of Renais followed him into the ruins and right into a den of Outrealm monsters and a smirking, possessed Lyon.

"...oh you've gotta be _shitting_ me."

* * *

This battle was _fucking_ awful.

It started bad, it was ending bad, the sequel would be worse, and the book was better.

Eirika was almost hentai'd a few times, Ephraim was beating the shit out of the monsters that looked at his sister the wrong way (any way, cough cough) and Kiran had to watch as Fomortiis started doing something horribly similar to the chicken dance for his upcoming victory.

"That's _more than_ enough," Kiran roared across the battlefield, slamming into Lyon with a basic shoulder tackle. The prince, who was by all means a hella powerful mage, had all the width of a twig, wasn't paying attention to him, and was sprawled out on the ground with ease. The sheen of the Dark Stone in his hand gave Kiran his target.

"This fucking thing is the cause of all of your problems, so I'm _taking it!_ "

He ripped the Dark Stone out of Lyon's hand, kicking down the tome ready to incinerate him, and slapping the purple haired prince with a nasty backhand.

"Sit down, dickweed," he growled at the Grado Prince, whose eyes dilated with terror. Good. He _should_ be afraid.

All of this was stupid bullshit! If sorcerers would stop sticking their noses into places they don't belong, the world would be peaceful! What's dead should _stay_ dead.

Kiran dropped the stone and stomped his boot down onto it. The stone wouldn't even crack. He groaned and likened it to stepping on a rock, picking it back up with his gloved hands and kicking away Lyon's hand when the rapidly declining possession in his body tried one last time to get the stone back, yet now it gave Kiran a new problem. Fomortiis was out of Lyon's body, which was good. Yet now, his influence needed somewhere else to go to.

Guess how that worked. If you guessed contact, you'd be correct, and Kiran would give you a cookie.

" **Use my power, you miserable fool. End the Askrian and Emblian conflicts. Protect all of those friends you care so much for.** "

Kiran glared at Fomortiis' form when a horrible idea came over him. He had to get the Dark Stone away from people who would try to use it, but Askr couldn't launch anything into deep space or hide relics to save their lives.

But he could.

"I'm ending this!"

Kiran held the dumb purple rock high up in the air, getting everyone's attention. The monsters that surrounded seemed to still, entranced by the sheen of the Demon King's rage. The humans, on the other hand, were horrified at the sight.

"Don't use the stone!"

"Kiran, stop!"

"It will take you ove-"

"YOLO!"

Kiran jammed the stone into his mouth and _swallowed it._

" **WHAT IN SAM HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME-** "

The voice cut out, and all of the creatures that surrounded them just… ceased. They vanished without a trace, leaving the four alone with each other, where the twins and the Grado Prince were looking at him like he was insane. Considering he'd swallowed a demon, yes, yes he was. But it worked, so that had to count for something, right?

Ephraim was the first to get his wits about him.

"Did you just _eat_ Fomortiis?"

The computer crash screen that was Lyon's brain unfroze, and horror overtook his features.

"He'll take your body for his own, you have to vomit him up!"

Kiran, opening his mouth to explain his thought process, was very unprepared for Ephraim to grab him from behind and Eirika to jam her fingers down his throat, the worry in her eyes disregarded for the fact that her nails were jabbing the back of his neck. Lyon was panickedly pacing beside them, giving advice through the sound of Kiran's gagging.

"HURJK!"

Both of the twins whipped back as bile grew up through the back of Kiran's throat, and he could _feel_ the stone.

" **AAUGH! OH GOD IT'S SO NASTY IN THERE! I THINK I'M GONNA- HHHMMMPH!** "

He forced himself to swallow and immediately regretted it because the twins seized him yet again.

"STOP! JESUS CHRIST, STOP! HE CAN'T CONTROL ME!"

The pure volume of his words got the two of them, with all of their care for friends, to release him, and Kiran took the chance to duck behind a pillar in case they changed their minds, which Lyon seemed to think they needed to do.

"What do you mean he can't control you?! He's Fomortiis! The Demon King!"

Eirika and Ephraim immediately began to chase after him once again, yet Kiran's basic capabilities in the world of parkour led to the absurd image of him kneeling on the top of a pillar, kicking at Sieglinde and Siegmund. Lyon seemed half ready to blow him off of it with Naglfar, but Kiran managed to breathlessly explain himself.

"I'm not from this world… where I'm from, there _isn't any_ magic to tap into, so I literally can't use the Dark Stone. He can't use my magic to control me because there isn't any to control."

The three Sacred Stones characters stopped to ponder this fact, then realized that Fomortiis was gone and shared awestruck expressions with one another while Kiran massaged his throat.

"I wish you'd've given me a chance to explain before you jammed your fingers down my throat."

His complaint went unnoticed.

Lyon sobbed at Eirika' and Ephraim's feet, and he was immediately swamped with hugs from the twins. Kiran just smiled and ignored the rumblings of his stomach that were the demo-

"OH MY GOD I FUCKING VORED FIRE EMBLEM SATAN!"


End file.
